i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
