i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
