hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
