Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
