hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
A bitchslap is in order.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
