Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The uberlube is also flammable
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
