I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
