I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
