Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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