words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
