It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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