why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
