Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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