forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
