I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
