He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My balls are so social today.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
