I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
