So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
