it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
