He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
