Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
