I could have mohawked her pubes.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why do cheetos always look like penises
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
