He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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