We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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