i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
