Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
