Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
