and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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