i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
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