Who wears a wallet chain?!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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