You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
