Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
