Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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