you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
