Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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