"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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