You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
