Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
