Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I love having hate sex.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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