after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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