Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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