He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Bring me that man meat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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