it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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