My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
