i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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