batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
