i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
