Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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