Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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