o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
