You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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