to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
