did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
