Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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