He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
