i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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