My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
