shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
