I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
